Decide to cook something for dinner that takes a fruit sauce – I suggest roast pork.
Go to the shops to get ingredients
Suddenly realise that making stewed fruit for sauce is the main part of the work for making a fruit crumble. In this moment, plan out exactly how the process of cooking and eventual eating will go: tangy apples, caramelised brown sugar on the crispy crunchy oats, smells wafting from the oven.
Get home and put on your dinner, paying special attention to the big pot of fruit sauce.
Go to the cupboard and pull out your big bag of rolled oats. [Note that it seems strangely squishy.]
Having thrown out your grub-filled bag of oats, combine your flour, brown sugar and butter in a bowl. It should be crumble-y in consistency.
Place the mushy fruit mix in the bottom of a pan with the crumbly crumble on top and put it into the oven at some temperature for some period of time.
Open the oven door and see your Expectations Crumble. That oat-less, not-so-apple-y dessert may not be what your long-suffering boyfriend was looking forward to, but it’ll be as half eaten as mine is in no time.